Living Death
by Eric-Eads
Summary: Duo muses on somethings he's never thought of before. His revelation seems fairly.. insane. Supernatural-ish, Death ficish Not sad , 1x2. Complete.


Title: Living Death [1/1

Author: ShinigamiYuy

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: 1 2

Disclaimer: I don't own them, never will.

Warnings: Ah, no real warnings. Supernatural-ish, deathfic-ish ( But not sad ), deep musings, Duo's POV.

It took me a long time to realize the truth of the situation. The truth of my life that I knew, in the back of my mind, but never acknowledged. I suppose it all started when I fell to Earth.

I had landed, roughly. My body had been trained continuously for just this goal, this mission. Even still, I remember losing consciousness on impact. I guess the water tension on Deathscythe, still firey hot from re-entry, jarred my body a lot. Hell, sometimes I can still feel fantom pains from the landing, and now I understand why I guess.

The reason I got so banged up is cause I never was supposed to land in the ocean. It seems like the water would be a better place to land, and sink into the murky depths. However, a Gundam is strong, tough, but the pressure of space and the pressure of the ocean bottom are quite different. My suit was made to withstand entry, it wasn't meant to be submerged.

It was dangerous, but once I woke up I continued on my mission as I remember being told. Not long after that I ran into Heero. He was everything that attracted me... Well, that's a lie, not at first he wasn't. He was the bad guy, ya' know? He was standing in the middle of an enemy army base, threatening to shoot some girl in a party dress. Let me tell you how surreal it was to find That. Especially since he wasn't an Ozzie and neither was she! So I did the only thing I could think of. I shot him first. Er... then second as well.

We got by that though, and as the war went on, he went through worse things than that. He always came out alive somehow. It wasn't normal though, there was something weird behind all that. Who really survives jumping off a building, or blowing themselves up?

I wanted to believe though, and so I did. I went along with it, thinking he had some special training, and I never questioned when I survived repeatedly either. Nor why Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei, my new comrades, all did as well. We were meant to live after all, we were the good guys. They always get the miracles. That's just how it works.

"Duo?"

Now that I think back on it all though, it seemed like time and fate always worked well for us. After the first war we scattered. We were too young, too hyped up on the idea of living in peace as normal kids to stay together. We had a bit of growing up to do.

I went with Hilde, off to work at a scrap yard we put together. I heard that Trowa disappeared into the sunset with the Circus and his newfound sister. Quatre had a business to run, and he was forced to return to the world of intrigue. Wufei, well, I lost sight of him, which explained why we never seen it coming.

As for Heero, he went off with Relena, to be her body guard I guess. He tried I think, wanted to be normal, for him, and her. His normal isn't the same as her normal, and she couldn't stand content with the way he acted forever though. I think she honestly thought he'd change. She never realized that once a soldier, always a soldier.

It was a year after the first wars that I started to feel restless in my place. I wished for something to take away the boring day to day, longing for my comrades too. It seemed that almost as soon as they were brought into life, my prays were answered.

Some organization started a mini war, or maybe it should be called a prelude to a war. Whatever you call it, it was something to do. It brought us all together again, one by one. Wufei was on the wrong side, but he was still with us in the end.

So we did what we do best, we fought, we snuck around, and we won. It opened our eyes though, and we began to drift from the boring everyday life we had, into a soldier's place again. Wufei was the first to join the Preventers. I think the most surprising was Quatre following next. It seemed the strain of dealing with an enemy he couldn't use forceful tactics against was getting to him. He let his sister... Amaris I think? take over.

I was the next to follow, after a visit Earth side to see the blonde. He invited me in to help train some newbies, and I fell in love with the idea, offering my knowledge and working my body again. It put me in a state of peace I hadn't known During peace.

Trowa fell in line as well, and then Heero gave up his charade. We were all back as a team once more. It felt amazing and like home. My comrades were five again. Even if we weren't teamed together, we were still a team.

The lull of day to day didn't rub us wrongly this time, and we took comfort in the constants. Even when they changed, we just got new constants to take their place. Instead of Heero picking me up for work at eight, he was entering my room to wake me up at six thirty. Then he was waking me up at six as he woke me with a touch and a kiss, which lead to more. I never even complained about the extra half hour.

I guess I never really thought much about any of it before though. But now, here I am, celebrating my thirty seventh birthday, and while no one else seems to notice, I do. I notice our faces now, our hair. Things like that, and it just seems wrong.

"Duo, are you okay?"

Lifting my eyes to Heero's, his beautiful deep blue orbs, filled with worry, I shake my head. "No.. I'm not Heero. I think I'm dead." Was I crazy? No, I don't think so, and surprisingly, Heero's look of relief didn't seem to think so either.

"I'm not the only one that noticed then. I was considering the possibility of post traumatic stress, or some other form of insanity."

I heaved a sigh and scratched at my hair, which was still all there, still the dark brown that it had always been. None of us had lost our hair, or even gotten a speck of gray, or even gotten a wrinkle. We healed quickly, even our supposedly fatal injuries were nothing to the five of us.

"We died then, when we landed, all of us?" I got a shrug for my question, more a raised shoulder really. "It is hard to be certain, but the signs seem to point to that, yes."

I was thoughtful for a long moment, staring out our bedroom window. I had retreated here from our friends when my thoughts began to turn towards the more serious matter at hand. "So.. Now that we have concluded that, what do we do? Is any of this real or what?"

Heero was silent as well, but then, what else is new. He was always stuck in his head, evaulating possibilities, numbers, outcomes, what he needed at the store. Who knows what he thought about, the man had a poker face. "What is there to do? We can't fix anything, if we are dead, then this might be heaven, or hell, purgatory, or limbo. If we aren't going to ever die, I guess we just continue this living."

Yeah, that sounded good, living forever, untouched by anything other than what our minds decided we needed to be touched by. Maybe we even died before our landing, heck, maybe we never died at all, and this is some strange universe where only we really exist. Who knows. All I know is that I am Duo Maxwell, death, dead, and in love. A few thousand more years of love, friendship, and excitement with Heero Yuy sounded pretty good.

"Yeah, you're right. Lets get back to my party then, if I can't die, maybe I can't get fat if I eat half the cake." Heero grunted his disapproval but I just laughed, bouncing from the bed and heading out into the living room.

"WU-BEAR! Whatcha get me for my birthday? Is it a spanking?!"

Owari

Wow, I have no clue where that came from. Insanity maybe. The story was going to turn out a bit differently before, but Microsoft Word messed up and I lost most the story. So, here is the new story. Whatcha think? Good? Bad? Feeeed me, I crave reviews. 


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